Peer Response #2 Week 10

My peer response is on Brittany's Calisthenic for this week.

Orange Shirt

I think sometimes you only use the right chunk of your brain. Wearing your neon orange v-neck t shirt with khaki pants and flip flops. Folding your arms because mama didn't give you the dessert that your mouth was wet for. Stomping your way up the stairs like Godzilla through the narrow streets of Japan. I have always wondered if you actually like your own personality , or if you pretend to be someone else that's frilly and quiet. Of course, this person would be your complete opposite. Just like that orange shirt you are loud and begging to be seen. Sometimes I find myself wishing you to Never-land where the ticking alligator could run you from Goo Lagoon to Skull Island.After doing so, somehow, someway I find that I would miss you. I missed you and your boom box of a voice, even though I would never tell you that. Without you there would be no pink pajama coffee breath breaks in the cricket nights. If you were gone home would be like Treasure Island with no map to mark "X."

my response:

I think this character development started out really specific and I would be interested to see if you do anything with this character. I also found it interesting that in describing the character, you are also describing the narrator. The second and third sentences aren’t really sentences, but I saw that you really developed the specificity within these two phrases. I liked how you described her arms folded because she didn’t get the dessert her “mouth was wet for.” I liked how the narrator made the orange shirt a metaphor for the other character. Also, the specificity of talking about dropping her off at Never –land really added that cinematic touch. Then, the annoyance was turned because the narrator said she would miss her. I liked that turn because it added another layer to the character’s development. Hopefully, you’ll maybe go a little further will the development in order to see what comes next.