Monday, January 23, 2012

Imitation Week 1

This is my improv/imitation to A Martian Sends a Postcard Home. I don't know how well it came out, but I tried to think of a way to make a glass of water with ice in it not familiar anymore. This is what I came up with:


When indoors, the humans grab an empty well
and fill it from the snake climbing from the wall.

Beaten to vomit, they must close his throat
before they reach inside the transporter.

and pull from space the frozen moon pieces.
Without mercy, they forced them in the well

and demand the half alive moons
to dance until they drown.

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2 comments:

  1. chad davidsonJanuary 25, 2012 at 9:56 AM

    Not bad at all, Kay. Now, try inching down the tone thermometer. What you have here is fairly high on the register. Remember that we want to stay in the "radical middle." Go back and reread the Martian poem, and I think you'll see how Raine negotiates the tone and keeps it away from the extremes, even when speaking of defecation.

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  2. April Joi AntoniouJanuary 28, 2012 at 11:26 PM

    I like thinking about the frozen moon pieces. :)

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