My first one is going to be from Brittany's Calisthenic from this week:
I was watching a new vampire show on Netflix, one where vampires
actually die in sunlight, not shine. The glorified death of the vampires
basked in the beauty of a baby's first steps. Fire scorching their
faces while they take one last, maybe first, look at the sunset. The ash
of their body waves in the wind as they disappear like the fallen
leaves of autumn. Why is their death so easy?
I think this is an interesting take on... I don't know which show. I like the reference to Twilight since that has become the new vampire take of this generation. I found the comparison between their death and a baby's first steps one that I would have not put together. Then, you put together ash and autumn leaves. This is the kind of comparison that we've been talking about in class because they are so new and odd. You twisted it because you saw their deaths as something beautiful. You saw it as a new beginning. Easy is the word choice you used. The twist makes me think of someone who is thinking of taking their own life and envious of the fact that they can just walk into the sunlight and die when death in reality is more difficult than that. It's an interesting take on this show since most people would feel sad or angry about the death. The only thing I would make stronger maybe "Fire scorching." Scorching seems available because we understand that fire scorches us if we were to just stand in it and not move. But this is a good start and I want to know more about where this piece is going to go.
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